Adventures in Bread Making

I made bread. From scratch. No bread maker. No mix. I used yeast, sugar, salt, flour, water, my hands, and my oven.

The recipe was so simple. It did not go as planned. I ran out of all-purpose flour so I was forced to use self-rising (even though I'd already added the yeast and salt). It wasn't becoming less sticky, so I kept adding flour after the four cups stated on the recipe.

Do I remove it from the stove? Do I leave it on? Do I just go for it and see what happens? Do I stir with a spoon or a whisk? WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING?!?!?!

Life gets this way. "I'm doing it right. I'm following the directions!" But why isn't it working how it's supposed to? If I give more, then I get more. If I love harder, then I'll be loved more. If this, then that. Round and round I go, not understanding why it isn't adding up how I thought.

I keep adding. And doing. And kneading. Then there is that calm, still voice:

"He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.'" Psalm 46:10

Did that say "be still?" Seriously? But if I stop moving then nothing will get done! *deep sigh* I force myself to obey. I stop kneading the dough and simply allow it to rise. When I put it in the oven it smells so good! When I take it out, it tastes delicious. Simple and delicious. 

I put my worries to the side. I stop being busy and take time to pray. It feels so good. I sit with my Lord. Simple and wonderful.

Lessons in bread baking. Who knew?

Lunch with my Sisters

I'm sitting at a table with two of the most incredible women I know. Their lives have been different than mine. Their lives have been different than each others. We are brought together and bonded as sisters - through Christ.

His love and freedom have allowed us to have a special relationship with Him and each other. Beautifully and wonderfully He made us. Perfectly He works out His purpose for us. Steadily we try to follow Him. Inevitably we fail. Sometimes we choose. Sometimes we are trapped. All the time He continues to love us.

Photo Credit

Today one woman is sharing her trials. Sharing how she was trapped by lies and deception. Intensely we listen. It's a story I've heard before, but I feel myself hurt for her. I hurt for her. Then it hits me - He hurts more. He took this from her. He saved her and gave her freedom. He is healing her.

Slowly the anger subsides and I continue to look across to my beautiful friend. Sister. A woman that I admire and am watching grow. A woman that loves the Lord and fiercly pushes forward to work and live for Him. It's obvious to me why God put us together - even from different backgrounds and perspectives on life. He consistently, constantly shows His love for us. One way is through this friendship with amazing women.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

Finding my voice

Two weeks ago I learned about my social style. I am a relater. People are important to me and I take my time to diligently make decisions. I'd say that I fit pretty well into many of the qualities of this style except when it comes to my voice.

I can be bold. I can be LOUD! I worry about people's feelings, but the T.R.U.T.H. is much more important to me. At the same time, I tend to have a high emotional response to others. My speaking voice is not my writing voice. They say that everyone has a voice. A style. Now it's time to find mine.

I enjoy singing. I used to do it. There's a style and flow. It comes from everything inside of me. I would assume, although I can't be completely sure, that is true about writing also.

This should mean, or rather I assume it means, that when I begin to move my fingers to type the words that are in my head, that it's coming from more than just my brain. My body and heart and being is engaged. If it's coming from my heart, then it should be coming from my God.

That gives finding my voice a completely different turn. It's about finding out what my Lord wants me to say and how HE wants me to say it. Wow. That is an overwhelming thought. He loves me enough to care about my voice. He gave me a voice to speak, to sing, to pray. I am certain that in keeping my eyes on Him and my heart in tuned to His, that He will also give me a voice to write.

I may never say anything extremely profound. But I will learn to follow my Lord, and use the voice that He has given me.

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart,

and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.

For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

Luke 6:45

Nervous, but God pushed me forward

I prayed first. That's what they said to do. I knew it was the only way that I'd have the nerve. So, I ran and I prayed. Then I prayed again. Then...I went.

I asked Him to send me and He did. I was one in a sea of hundreds. Nervous. But determined.

Water helped to calm my nerves. Lots happened. People moved. I smiled. Said hi. Tried to seem normal.

Then there was one. She stood out to me in the crowd. I approached, calm and timid, excited and anxious.

A few minutes later, I had a new friend. Who knows what will happen, or if I'm wrong. Either way: I'm excited about what He has in store for me.

Trying to see past how I feel

Today I was inspired.

I've only been awake about an hour and nothing new or different has happened in that time, but I feel compelled to share after reading what Lara had to say about peace.

Yesterday, I woke up after only sleeping for three hours and went to work. I didn't have to walk to the bus because I carpool with a good friend, but I spent the whole 20 minutes in the car talking about why I hadn't slept.

My emotional exhaustion exuded from me. I was, and regrettably am, discontent.

Not with every part of my life, but the parts that upset me have the greatest control over my emotional health. I cry out to God because He is the only One who can make it better. I pray and when I can't find the words I journal. Writing, I have more time to think about what I want to say and I cry out to my Lord in a letter. I ask Him to take it from me and control my life.

Today, things aren't much different, except that my desire for contentment is finally beginning to overpower all the emotional mess. My strive to live for my Lord is greater than the situations in my life that fight for control over me. I will remember to always be content in everything, because He will work out His perfect plan for my life.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation, by prayer and petition,

with Thanksgiving,

present your requests to the Lord.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-8

WESTERN!!!

And the pick goes to...JAQUINN...for WESTERN GUILFORD HIGH SCHOOL!!

And the crowd goes wild!!! (crowd roaring. throwing tinsel).

Tonight I was placed at my high school for Young Life. I am officially the newest Young Life leader at Western Guildford High School. I have officially joined a community of Jesus freaks who are sharing their love for the Lord by building relationships with teenagers. I'm SO EXCITED!!!

Here it is!!

It's official, because I got my first YL t-shirt! The front says Western; the back says Johnson.

What does all this mean? It means that God has put me where He wants me to be and I have the opportunity to follow His path for me by sharing my life with others. All the setbacks and hiccups and scary moments that I am going to encounter with this path will be worth it. God didn't say it would be easy, but He is leading my path now. No other way for it to go.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” 

Isaiah 6:8

1:49 am

It's 1:49 am. I woke up about an hour ago, thanks to the great decision to sleep on my sofa at 6:30 pm.

Let's talk about the excitement that comes along with this time in the morning. So far I have watched You've Got Mail - again. I never get sick of that movie. I've eaten some Honey Nut Cheerios, posted in my classroom, and talked to my honey on Facebook.

What now? Short of getting up and cleaning or something (which is not going to happen) I am stuck. Stuck awake in the middle of the night when the rest of the world is sleeping or doing something they shouldn't.  It's a good time to think about how blessed I am in the fact that I have the luxury of sleeping and being awake. Being awake means that I'm still alive! Being awake means that God is still breathing life into me and I am able to talk to people and eat and function. I am still free!

Oh...being awake in the middle of the night could be a bad thing, but I've decided that it's just a reminder of God's goodness. My life - His love. His love - my joy, peace, and happiness. Suddenly, being awake at 1:56 am doesn't seem like such a bad thing.