Nervous, but God pushed me forward

I prayed first. That's what they said to do. I knew it was the only way that I'd have the nerve. So, I ran and I prayed. Then I prayed again. Then...I went.

I asked Him to send me and He did. I was one in a sea of hundreds. Nervous. But determined.

Water helped to calm my nerves. Lots happened. People moved. I smiled. Said hi. Tried to seem normal.

Then there was one. She stood out to me in the crowd. I approached, calm and timid, excited and anxious.

A few minutes later, I had a new friend. Who knows what will happen, or if I'm wrong. Either way: I'm excited about what He has in store for me.

Trying to see past how I feel

Today I was inspired.

I've only been awake about an hour and nothing new or different has happened in that time, but I feel compelled to share after reading what Lara had to say about peace.

Yesterday, I woke up after only sleeping for three hours and went to work. I didn't have to walk to the bus because I carpool with a good friend, but I spent the whole 20 minutes in the car talking about why I hadn't slept.

My emotional exhaustion exuded from me. I was, and regrettably am, discontent.

Not with every part of my life, but the parts that upset me have the greatest control over my emotional health. I cry out to God because He is the only One who can make it better. I pray and when I can't find the words I journal. Writing, I have more time to think about what I want to say and I cry out to my Lord in a letter. I ask Him to take it from me and control my life.

Today, things aren't much different, except that my desire for contentment is finally beginning to overpower all the emotional mess. My strive to live for my Lord is greater than the situations in my life that fight for control over me. I will remember to always be content in everything, because He will work out His perfect plan for my life.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation, by prayer and petition,

with Thanksgiving,

present your requests to the Lord.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-8

WESTERN!!!

And the pick goes to...JAQUINN...for WESTERN GUILFORD HIGH SCHOOL!!

And the crowd goes wild!!! (crowd roaring. throwing tinsel).

Tonight I was placed at my high school for Young Life. I am officially the newest Young Life leader at Western Guildford High School. I have officially joined a community of Jesus freaks who are sharing their love for the Lord by building relationships with teenagers. I'm SO EXCITED!!!

Here it is!!

It's official, because I got my first YL t-shirt! The front says Western; the back says Johnson.

What does all this mean? It means that God has put me where He wants me to be and I have the opportunity to follow His path for me by sharing my life with others. All the setbacks and hiccups and scary moments that I am going to encounter with this path will be worth it. God didn't say it would be easy, but He is leading my path now. No other way for it to go.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” 

Isaiah 6:8

1:49 am

It's 1:49 am. I woke up about an hour ago, thanks to the great decision to sleep on my sofa at 6:30 pm.

Let's talk about the excitement that comes along with this time in the morning. So far I have watched You've Got Mail - again. I never get sick of that movie. I've eaten some Honey Nut Cheerios, posted in my classroom, and talked to my honey on Facebook.

What now? Short of getting up and cleaning or something (which is not going to happen) I am stuck. Stuck awake in the middle of the night when the rest of the world is sleeping or doing something they shouldn't.  It's a good time to think about how blessed I am in the fact that I have the luxury of sleeping and being awake. Being awake means that I'm still alive! Being awake means that God is still breathing life into me and I am able to talk to people and eat and function. I am still free!

Oh...being awake in the middle of the night could be a bad thing, but I've decided that it's just a reminder of God's goodness. My life - His love. His love - my joy, peace, and happiness. Suddenly, being awake at 1:56 am doesn't seem like such a bad thing.

Wow, God. Really?!?!?!?!

As I sit here at Panera Bread next to a good friend, laughing, and playing on facebook, I'm constantly reminded of how great my God is. The last few years of my life have been a great reminder that He is always here for me and will never leave me. I've been stubborn and childish at times. Other times I've been sad and confused. In all those times I've been blessed and loved by a Lord and Savior that wants me to live for Him. In a time of overwhelming blessing this past Thursday, God humbled me before Him and made me realize, again, what it means to be His daughter.

Thursday afternoon, around 4:30, I was standing at the hostess stand at work with some coworkers talking and goofing around as usual. A woman wearing a pants suit walked in with a bag and asked, "is JaQuinn here?" I responded, "I'm JaQuinn." She told me that she was supposed to give "this" to me and handed me a bag with a large box inside then walked quickly out the door. My coworkers and I stood confused and looked at each other for a few seconds before someone beckoned for me to open it. I reached inside the bag and pulled out a note marked for Jaqueen. I opened the note and in red sharpie was written:

Jaqueen,
God layed you on my heart, and He told me to buy you a new laptop. Not sure why...guess that's between you and Him. He wanted me to tell you that He hears you. He loves you. He sees your perseverance and your faithfulness. You are a blessing to Him and to others. He will ALWAYS provide. Enjoy! :-)

If you are anything like me, or my coworkers, then it took a second for the reality of what was written to sink in. I just stood with my mouth open in confusion and shock and awe and...wow. The next thing to do, of course, was to pull out the big brown box (still in it's packaging) and open it! We pulled out the sciossors and opened the box. Inside was a brand new, unopened laptop box and product key for Microsoft Office 2010.


Immediately I called my mom - who didn't answer. Then I called my dad - who didn't answer. Then I called my little sister - who answered! We rejoiced and praised God together! He always takes care of me and I try to remember to praise Him for everything. This was completely different and unexpected. An unexpected blessing from our ever-present Father in Heaven.

Now, while I sit on my newest blessing and write these things I find myself becoming overjoyed by His goodness and provision in my life. Not only in this, but always. He has kept me safe, fed, healthy, clothed, sheltered, and in the midst of all this allowed me to enjoy myself. He has more in store than just the basics for us. He wants us to be overflowing with His goodness. I praise Him for being love for me.

To whoever listened to God and showed His love to me in this amazing way - THANK YOU! My sister (a guess given handwriting and smiley) you are a blessing. You made me want even more to be used by God in any way which He has prepared for me. I thank Him for you and pray that He continue blessing and using you in your walk with Him.

Praise the Lord, all you nations.

Praise him, all you people of the earth.

For he loves us with unfailing love;

the Lord’s faithfulness endures forever.

Praise the Lord!

Psalm 117

My first 5 question Friday

This is my first time doing Five Question Friday, which I got from My Little Life as I was strolling through blogs. So, here is what happens. She posts five questions, and I answer them! Easy enough! I'm excited because I love when I get to answer questions. Makes me feel special and important - for the most part. Anyway, here it is!

1. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?

At my parents house we would stay up on Christmas Eve until midnight Christmas day then open one gift. Then we'd go to bed, get up early, and tear into the rest of them! Now it's mostly Christmas day still. The only person I exchange with is my boyfriend for the most part. Then it's Christmas day depending on the parents that we are with.

2. What is your favorite Christmas cookie (or candy)?

I'm not sure about this one. I love Christmas flavored or themed treats! One year I made candy cane shaped sugar cookies topped with crushed peppermint. I was proud of those, so they are probably my favorite. They were also delicious! Anything with apple, cinnamon, or peppermint flavoring is a winner for me.

3. What is the worst Christmas gift you've ever received?

My grandmother had a friend who brought us gifts every year, but it was always the most random stuff that no kid wanted. It was stuff like roll-on deodorant, candy that didn't taste like candy, and necklaces that looked like yarn. It wasn't always horrible, but it was awkward stuff that no one used! Then I'd have to be polite and smile and say thank you, but it always ended up just collecting dust until i finally threw it out.

4. Christmas song that you love?

I love *NSync Christmas. It sounds dorky, but since it came out I have listened to it every year as I put up the tree or do anything else. O Holy Night is my favorite song. There is something about five part harmony acappella that makes me smile - especially at Christmas.

5. How many trees do you put up?

One. It's 6 feet tall, fake, and I've had it for a few years. It works for me though. It's cute and it makes me smile every year.

There it is folks! My first five question Friday! I believe that it was a success! Come back next Friday...maybe I'll do it again. Also, check out some others who have done the same thing!

#314

In the beginning, it would have been unlikely that we were seen together. Everything changed when I needed a ride one day, and this pseudo random person (the only one left to ask) said yes - even though I did not deserve her help in any way. Thus began a beautiful, strange, but fun relationship.

This is us in the beginning. We worked together and ate there a lot, because it was delicious (and we got an awesome 50% discount). I miss that discount. I'm glad we still eat together. It's probably one of our favorite pastimes. That may be one of the only things we agree on completely. The others are simple: Rent and Wicked.

This was our first Halloween dressing up together. It is a pretty accurate depiction of our differences (although she was wearing an old costume of mine). I was Elphaba. She was a French maid. It was quite a hit! We did not dress up when we actually saw Wicked a couple years later.

We have had our share of ups and downs and all arounds. We haven't really fought, but we have disagreed strongly. We do not always see eye to eye and we are not carbon copies of each other by any means. We are, however, friends. There's never a doubt in my mind that she will be there for me if I need her - whether that means taking me to work or playing hopscotch in the parking lot.

This is us at my honor society initiation. She wants to be at every major moment in my life because she loves me. I thank God for her. Sometimes I think that she's crazy and clingy, but I know that's her way of letting me know that she cares. And this is my way of letting her know that I do.

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17